06 September, 2011

Cars and BBQ Sauce!

So this morning I had to put my car into the garage down the road for a new radiator!

Let me tell you about my Car. Well it's a 1995 Mitsubishi Magna, a beautiful Army Green Colour (don't worry if I had known when he was buying it back then I def would have talked him out of THAT COLOUR!) because you see it used to be my Grandad's car.

Grandad first gave me the car back in 2005 when he could no longer drive and moved into his retirement village. And get this the kilometres were only 45,000!! He loved his car soooo much and when I would go pick him up from the Retirement Village he would pat the dashboard cause he missed it sooo much!

So even though things are wearing out on the poor little car car, I just can't bring myself to sell it. Even Grandad said I could sell it, as maybe it was too big for me. But now that he is gone, well let's just say it will be a little time until 1. I can afford another car and more importantly No. 2 That I can't bring myself to sell it as it reminds me too much of Grandad.

Do you know Grandad only ever had in his lifetime 2 brand new cars. Here was the other one, the old Galant!

And here I am at nearly 45 and still to own my first ever Brand New Car! One day Groover's, one day.....

And let me tell you the story that I have enticed Ashlee with all day and told her she has to read The Morley Report tonight to get the whole complete story!

Soooo when Jake was younger and in Primary School, he was sometimes friends and sometimes not with a little kid, mmm let us call him Little Johnny!

So over the years Little Johnny and Jake would be neck and neck in exam results. And in Grade 7 they were put in the same composite class. So as there weren't many Gr7 boys in the class they decided to be friends.

Jake asked if Little Johnny could come over one Friday night and sleepover. Now Little Johnny was also a fussy eater, so we spoke to him on the phone to work out what he might eat that night for dinner.

And so when he did come and stay he never ate the dinner he said he would like, Jake of course..... accidentally made a coke bottle explode onto the ceiling and of course I got up him! Cause I'm a good Mum like that! hehehe But I didn't get up Little Johnny. Anddddd I even let them (remember they were 11 turning 12, actually Jake was, Little Johnny was 12 turning 13) watch American Pie, cause I am cool like that!

And so I go to bed. I wake up during the night to let our old cat Herman out for a wee. Now keep up I promise this story is good!!

I notice, cause I am anal like that (meaning very clean and everything has it's place!) that there is a salt sachet that has been ripped open and there is salt over my kitchen counter andddddd I noticed the BBQ sauce bottle was in a different spot in the pantry. Now you see, I knew that Little Johnny used to like eating BBQ Sauce sandwiches, so I just presumed that because he hadn't eaten his dinner that he was hungry and got up in the middle of the night to make a good old BBQ Sauce Sandwich. Which for some reason was he staple dish!

So I go back to bed and then when I wake up in the morning around 8am, I decided I would stay in bed until Little Johnny left (as I felt he was Evil) and Jake sung out that Little Johnny was leaving. So then I thought mmmm safe to get up! hehehe.

Before I go downstairs I checked Jake's bedroom. Now one kid was there the night before and one was in the lounge room on the floor, but I wasn't sure who was who. Although I did notice that the light was on in Jake's bedroom the night before when I got up in the middle of the night.

And I noticed that there was a sticker on the bedroom wall and that the sliding wardrobe door had had the plastic like bumper bar ripped out. And just so you know this townhouse was brand new when we moved in!

Soooooooo I start to come downstairs and Jake sings out, come and look at this!!! And in our lounge room, all around the same level of the room was this splatter pattern. Much like blood!!!! And over the vertical blinds too. It was very strange and we couldn't work out what it was.

Jake and I then started to clean it up but the more we cleaned the more we could see and it was just such a strange thing. I felt I had to tell Little Johnny's mother. So I went up to the school as she was doing Saturday Swim Club and told her. She was swimming in the pool and decided to do another length before getting out. As you do.....

So she came and saw "The Pattern" anddddddd was so cheesed off with Little Johnny! And went home I presumed to have it out with him. And Jake and I cleaned it all up. Jake was sooo scared it was blood or that our brand new townhouse was haunted, that he asked to sleep with me that night.

So the next morning Jake gets up and comes running back into my bedroom. "The Pattern" is backkkkkkkkkkkkkk. Same pattern, same place on the wall etc.

Soooo we clean it all up - AGAIN!!! On the Monday after taking Jake to school I rang a pest man, thinking maybe it was a bug pattern.... Ok I was grasping at straws... but PLEASE what was The Pattern???? I had to know.

Now back then I was working at home for a company as what they called a Telecommuter, so half way through the day the pest man arrives and I fill him in on the story. And tell him that I thought maybe it might be BBQ Sauce and that I had even sprayed some out of my BBQ Sauce bottle but it was big globjules (my own word!) and not the fine spray, so it def couldn't be BBQ Sauce.

He wiped his finger to taste it ewwwwwwww as I also said it might be bugs. But I had to go upstairs and take more work phone calls and a few mins later he called me back downstairs anddddddd told me that I WAS RIGHT! That the pattern was in fact BBQ Sauce.

So do you wanna know how?

Well since you've come this far and read all these words, I think I owe ya!!!

Little Johnny, during the night had got up on a chair and emptied out BBQ Sauce on top...... ready............ ON THE CEILING FAN!!! I kid you not!!!! So every time we turned on our ceiling fan, more would finely fly off and make this pattern.

Andddddd the little prick would have known that each time we cleaned it up anddddd turned the ceiling fan on, more would come off and we would have to clean it up again. And to make matters worse when I rang his mother to tell her, the father answered the phone and so I told him and he said that Little Johnny had said he hadn't done it and they believed him.

Now I had asked Jake many times if he had done it or knew about it. But here is the thing, why would he do it to help me clean it up each time andddddddddd why was he that scared that night that he wanted to sleep with me!!! So I did and still do believe him.

And you know what? That mother and that family never spoke to us again!!!!!!

So Groover's the moral of the story is this: NEVER EVER let you kids have a sleepover! Either that orrrrrrrrrrr don't have BBQ Sauce and Ceiling Fans in your house! hehehehe.


Me xxx

Ashlee cooked us a "Family Dinner" tonight! Here is the proof!

And it was YUM! Buttttttt I am a bit worried about the noises coming from downstairs, now that dinner is over and done with!!!!!!! :)


Anonymous said...

FYI Those noises you heard were me bashing up Jake ...cos I can .....none of the sus kind...

Anonymous said...

I heard Jake liked it rough!!

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